Fated or Faded?

It was 31st December 2012, an unforgettable one. I never thought that I will see him again in my life. I had a feeling that he will be there, but I told myself I think too much, he is now in Germany, and I won't see him. Somehow, my heart tells me that I wish I could see him here and the other half of me just wish that he won't be here. I was torn apart. Wants to see him because I want to have a talk with him, after all he did. But then, the reason I don't want to see him was I don't know what reaction should I give him. When I walked passed him, I covered my face. Then after the countdown, I went back, he saw me . He only gave me a smile, that I really miss. I waved at him but he didn't wave back. That smile reminds me of strangers on the street. He was really ''new'' to me, somehow. I don't know how to describe my feelings when it comes to this. Friends said we are fated. I told them, we are faded. Then, I was crying badly later in the morning at 5. I tried my very best to sleep, then my tears just roll down to my cheeks. It was a bad time, my best friend gave me the tightest hug she could, she was patting my head. After all, everything was okay. 

Photos' stories :D



Colosseum

 
 






Waking Up in Italy

 





My lovely brothers :)



Back to the 18th century

Arch of Constantine

I miss you, my host family

Back here for some time and I still miss the time I had in Italy

                                                                             I really miss those time that I had in Italy, the best time I had in my life. Well, I think it was basically because, I went there alone? And I get to learn things first hand :) I learnt to speak some Italian sentences, simple words and learnt to cook Italian dishes, with my Italian host family. Those time I had with them, were awesome. I hope this year, I can go again. In December. This time, I wish to stay in Rome for a night, and go to France, if it is possible. :) And I will visit Florence this time, I hope :) Are many places, that I wish I can go last year. But, didnt managed to. This year, should be a little easier. I miss all the Italian friends, and my dear Italian brothers :) Cute, Chubby, and handsome. Time flies, when I was with them. A month in Italy, like a week. I love my family there, they are so nice to me. Love me, the same. Even I am a different race, I dont share the same blood and I dont share the same surname. BUT they treated me the same, and I think they love me more :D Everyday, I got kisses and hugs, is something that I enjoyed. Those feelings are so good, pleasant, enjoyable, lovely, etc.. And all those equal to? Happiness :) Never in my life, I felt those feelings that they gave me. Italy is like my dream come true. I found everything that I ever wanted, for ages. :) So, anyhow, I must visit them again this year :).. Celebrate everything together, like last year :)  

Count Down :)

see you there, Dear :)

About 20 days from now, I will be in the airplane. Heading to Rome, Italy. My host parent will be waiting at FCO , at 0535 hours. I will be departing at 2350 hours on 28th November, KLIA, will be a bored flight. But at the end, this is all worth :) cause I will spend a month in Italy and I will be back next year, 1st of January. Will spend my Xmas with my loved one. I never thought of having a nice Xmas like this year's nor a New Year. This will be great, at least this is a new start of mine, after last year. My last year was the stupidest one. Never want to remember it, never want to think of it. At least now, at the end of the day, I've found someone whom I loved, that I still love, and I will love for my life. And he loves me like no one did :). I am glad, that I can meet with him, this year Febuary, we are now together for about 5 months, and soon the 6th month. It's so fast, half a year have passed, with him. Our 6th month is on the 13th of November. Oh, how I wish to celebrate events and festivals with him, if only we are near. For January, we have New Year. Febuary, we have Valentine's Day. March, his birthday, his name's day, my birthday. April, we have April's Fool. May, we have  Festa del Lavoro. June, Festa della Repubblica. July, San Paterniano. August, Ferragosto/Assunzione. September, San Gennaro. October, San Petronio. November, Ognissanti. December, last but not least, Xmas. And in Lunar Calendar, are a lot more festivals, but he will not be here to celebrate with me though. But soon, 2 years later, we are both free, and we will do all we ever wanted together. And, I promised to show him to my grandparent :)... I hope this is my answer to him. Though, I know when he see this, he will tell me, Oh you know, I saw your blog today, and it touches me so damn bad. Ha! And I bet, he is now smiling :P. But, Tesoro mio , just want to tell you, Ti Amo Tanto, see you on 29th November 2011 at the 0535 hours, Rome (FCO). <3

Take a Look At Me :)

Thank you for accepting the way I am. You don't mind that I am some times a bad tempered person. I am glad that you will accept me for the way I am now. I know, you might say that I am just the best person that you ever met. Thank you for having that impression on me. :) I am glad that you are the one I love :). I will promise you, I loved you yesterday, I love you now, I will always love you the way I loved you :). You are an angel, making all my dreams come true every night. I am happy you told me that I was in your dream some times... I believed I am lucky enough to know someone like you. I never thought someone like you existed. I hope I will meet you soon. So, when we are near, I hope you will take a look at me, and you will know how handsome you are. I have to admit that, when you use the light on your laptop, made you much handsomer than usual, I admired your smiles and laughs. They make you look great :). Just to tell you that you are my dream :) I know you will check my blog once a while :P So, TI AMO TANTO ~ :) <3

Sent Him a Letter

Was wondering what to give him as a present at first. Though he is 6028 miles away, about 12 hours and 31 minutes of flight. I don't know how to explain how much I have fall in love. I never know I could fall so bad again :) I am glad that he is always with me all the time when I needed him. I am glad that he can actually stand my mood swings. He is just so great, that I cannot describe how. I hope that he will see my letter soon. Inside the envolope there are 4 photos and one bookmark. I hope to melt him badly that he can ever imagine. Perhaps I just need to express a little bit more. Here is something that he can understand. Io ti amo amore mio, io ti amo con tutto il mio cuore vita mia ~ Beppe~ I don't know what to write about him at this moment. Or I should just say sei il migliore. And I will say sono dipendente dei tuoi baci~! Non posso vivere senza di te. Ti penso sempre! Tu sei l'unico per me! ~ Ti amo amore mio :) I miss his song, my favourite song. :) Though he always say his voice isn't nice. But to me his is better than Celine Dion when he sang. He melted me badly when he sang. I hope he will always sing it. From day to day, gradisco voi di più e più. Sei tutto per me :) Tu sei il sole del mio giorno!~ <3 Ti amo, mio bello :)

My Only Reason :)

Give you my HEART on a string :)

Was thinking what is my reason living in this cruel world. Do I have a purpose? Or I am just here for the sake of living here? Been hurt and recovered. Being love and hated. Cried and smile. Laugh and shout. Remembered and forget. What is the purpose? Is that all for life? This new year, meant a lot to me. I found my purpose. Wondering what it is? :) Now, I will tell you what, how, why and when. What make me think that I have a purpose, it is just him :) How and why do I know he is my purpose? Simple, he gives me hope all the time. He told me life is beautiful. And I don't think so at first, just because of my pathetic life. I don't believe there is such word called ''Forever'' as I think nothing will last for so long :) And life will end. After knowing him for months... He made me changed the idea of the word '' life'' and ''forever''. And when do I know he is my purpose, was a month ago, if I am not mistaken. I will wait for hours, just to see him online. Seeing him moving around, joking with me, sing my favourite song, tell me I am beautiful, arguing about little stuffs, making him green :D, seeing him melt and all that, just makes me feel like loving him more :) I felt so good with him. And I think that time, is when I know he is my reason for life... Of course, it is not just that :) I like his smile, looks, height, style and everything about him. But that's not why I love him.  The reason I love him, just because he is himself :) No one else, but himself :) Talking to him is just like talking to someone you have knew long time ago :) More than best friend, or I should just say, he is a part of my family :) I think without talking to him for a minutes it is like a year have wasted. Talking about him here, is just too little, I cannot finish typing about his plus points. But anyway, all I want to tell him is just... I love him :) Ti amo alla follia ~ Beppe <3

Is almost ready :)

This is how I feel :)

Just to tell you that your surprise is almost ready :) As you know, that it might be a bit hard to understand, my way of telling you something :) That surprise will be a bit hard to forget :P If I have show you :) Anyway, it will be soon ready :) And I hope you will love it :) Like how much I love you :) I will show you the best of me :) As I've said, you meant so much to me, and I even dream of you every night when I go to bed :P I know you ''love'' it when I hug my teddy bear :D But what can I hug? When you are not here? :) Unless, you want to come all the way here :) Or you send me one of your teddy :) Wait... Shall I ask '' Do you have a teddy?'' :) Anyway, my background of this blog, is all about how I feel about you :) You are more than what I thought of :) I never know, I love you so much, until... that day, that you said, '' I will take care of you'' :) I was totally leto :) I don't know what my life meant, when you doesn't exist :) You are better than everything :) As I have told you <3 maybe you don't know, but when everytime, you wasn't online, I felt sad, cause you are not here :) I just can't live without seeing your face :) <3 I will stay strong, just to fight for the time to see you for real :) Ti amo alla follia~ <3 And I believe my sunny day have come and my rainny day is OVER :P Just because Y-O-U exist~ :) <3 ~Beppe~