Never want to wait again :(

Don't break the promise, that you promised

If you have a good memory, I think you could remember I'd waited for you in a shopping mall for 7 hours. That day you broke my heart badly. I never did waited for someone for so long! I wasn't angry, but I was so sad and heartbroken :( That day was few days before I am going to China. You never apologize to me, until few days later. I am happy that you did :) And I called you when I was in China. I never forget you, no matter where I am :) But how about you? Will you remember me? I asked this Question because I know I can never ever forget you in life.. Because YOU are the one that I love the most and who hurt me the most. Do you know that? I'd waited for you about a year and a half. I never get angry at you even though I'd waited for 7 hours in the shopping mall. Cause I know compared to one year and a half, 7 hours are just little thing :(

FlashBack :(

Can I have that smile again?

I never want to remember you again! But today when I went to the shop where you bought me that teddy bear :( Suddenly I remember you :( I just hated you so much, Dear :( You broke my heart into pieces :( But do you know.. even then, I love you with all the small little pieces that have broken :'(  Today I went to that shopping mall where we used to go :( Now, I am all by myself.... I was walking on the stairs and that's where I broke my heart again :( The escalator, where we used to hugged and kissed :( I hate you! I hate you! If you don't like me tell me! Don't make me guess what you are thinking! And no silent break up! I know deep in my heart, love will not last :( Maybe I was naive, thought that you will love me until our life end :(  you make me smile when I am sad. Now I am DAMN SAD! But where are you now??? Lost?! Leave me alone :( Please! I never want to dream about you :(  It's nightmare, too much of sweet memories :( I don't need them now :(

A new Start :)

Germany :)

The first day of school after a long holiday, you gave me your jacket. I love it a lot :) This jacket is with me all the time. I wear it in school. I bring it along when I go for a trip :) It is kind of thick, really warm, it is like you are with me when I wear it :) But now I can't wear it in school :( Cause of the new school rules :S So stupid!~ And you gave me your school sweater too :) Mostly all the time I will wear it and now it is mine :D If I am not mistaken you only wore it once :S I am so sorry about that :D Thank you for giving me so much things, because of all these, I don't feel alone :) I could feel that you are with me all the time :) But I know some day you will leave me :( I never want this to happen :( Cause I love you a lot! But..... Fate :( Some time I will think that God is fooling me around with you :S I don't know what He will make my life with you to be :(

Valentine's Day

Wonder if you can REMEMBER?

Thank you for the rose that you have gave me last year Valentine's Day. Even though it was just one rose.. I kept it until now, I will never forget :) Thank you! After you gave me that rose, I brought it back to class.. Everyone was wondering, who is the one who gave me. Everyone started guessing.. But no one says your name :P Some boys were kidding angry... :) That rose have a great smell after so long for keeping it. I put it on my table where every time when I wake up I could see it! And that remind me of you! I am happy! I hope next year I will get roses from you. If that time, you can still remember me. Which I know, you won't :( That time you will have your new life and me? Thinking of you day and night? Daydream about you? Even when I sleep, I see you in my dream every time! I have been thinking too much of you!

Birthday Present



My hard work :) [second]

If you still can remember your birthday this year, what I have gave you. Maybe this can be a part of memory of yours... It is also a very good memory to me. I never thought of making something for your birthday. But I think this year is different. That's my hard work, if you can feel it. But, I don't think you will :( It's just so sad! It's okay, because all I have done is worth at the end, because you smiled. :) And I asked my friend to baked you a cake, and I took it to your classroom. After that you hugged me! That time I was sick (fever), but because I wanted to give you that cake so I go to school. Anyway, when you hugged me..... I felt so warm :) and that time my body temperature is going higher too :) Most probably my face was like an apple at the moment :) which is a good thing!  I wondered if you can remember my birthday? :S I hoped you will be the first one who wish me! :)

The Pictures, Memories :(

Poison OR Antidote?

Can we?

Maybe to you, our pictures are just nothing. But to me, it is everything. That was about one year ago... When the first time we took the first picture.. That day, was right after school. We walked along the roadside, and we sat under a tree for taking that picture. When you took picture with me my heart was about to jumped out. You were so close to me until I can't breathe! That day, I was thinking about you. I can't forget that moment. It's just hard to get out from my mind :) I really love it when you are really close to me. I feel secure and warm. The second time we took a picture was actually on the last day of school, when we have Summer Break. That day was 24th July, you might say that I am stupid to remember all these date, which is not a big day. To you yes, it is not, but to me, you will never know! After taking the picture.... Suddenly you gave me a hug, GOD...! That very first hug you gave me was so warm! On the way back home, I was smiling in sweetness :) and that night I called you just to tell you that your hug is nice :) You were laughing at me :) Sometime I just hate you so much! Because of all the great and sweet memories that you have gave me! Now it is hard to get it out from my mind! :( It is like a poison, what if in my whole life I can't have you? And you gave me all those memories! How can I forget? :( The memories inside my heart, maybe it is poison or maybe it is antidote :(  Now, I really can't tell you the difference :( It's is killing me but on the other hand some time that's all I'd left with :'(

27th March

I am not a Princess :(

The happiest day in the year 2009, One day before my birthday. You brought me to see a Doctor, cause I am sick. And you paid for me. You even bought me food and drinks. You accompanied me for 6 hours. I was scared, because my dad didn't know that I wasn't in school. Thank you for that, I know I won't forget :) That day is Heaven, in that whole year :) My life was in misery until I meet you. I don't know if is God fooling me around. I never thought of falling for you, cause I know you won't catch me somehow! You and I are now together it was merely an accident. You are from a different world. And I meet you, how could that be? Fate? I believe in fate... but you and I, can it be? :( I have got no confident :( I think now, 12 O'clock is near... Time to turn myself back to Cinderella, no more a princess :( But somehow, I am not a princess! I will never be one! :'(

When I dream of you :(

I miss you, Dear :(

Yesterday night... after I was asleep.. suddenly I dream of you. I swear each time, when I dream of you I never want to wake up from my dream :) It is just too sweet :) until I don't want to wake up. You are my prince, but I know I am not a princess :( I love you a lot... now we are together, but I don't feel love anymore. :( Are you bored of me? Maybe you do, you didn't call me for a week :( last time you used to call every night :( Now?? What happened?!

heartbroken day

If you are here.........Don't let me go

I never be so sad in my life. After I am with my boyfriend. I  love him a lot.. i waited for him for a long time he confessed to me on the 13th of July 2010. That night, I didn’t sleep at all. I was so happy, i kept asking myself if i am dreaming… He love me? What??? I never thought I will have him in my life That night was Heaven to me My story with him is like a fairytale. I am with him for about 4 months. Now we didn’t talk much like last time.. I don’t know what is the reason. He said, he want to make things work, between me and him. But, it seems nothing happen Why things are going like this? I love him SO much, can’t he feel my love to him? I love him till the deepest part in my heart. Sadly, he never know that Maybe it is too late now

I will fly when you are with me