Count Down :)

see you there, Dear :)

About 20 days from now, I will be in the airplane. Heading to Rome, Italy. My host parent will be waiting at FCO , at 0535 hours. I will be departing at 2350 hours on 28th November, KLIA, will be a bored flight. But at the end, this is all worth :) cause I will spend a month in Italy and I will be back next year, 1st of January. Will spend my Xmas with my loved one. I never thought of having a nice Xmas like this year's nor a New Year. This will be great, at least this is a new start of mine, after last year. My last year was the stupidest one. Never want to remember it, never want to think of it. At least now, at the end of the day, I've found someone whom I loved, that I still love, and I will love for my life. And he loves me like no one did :). I am glad, that I can meet with him, this year Febuary, we are now together for about 5 months, and soon the 6th month. It's so fast, half a year have passed, with him. Our 6th month is on the 13th of November. Oh, how I wish to celebrate events and festivals with him, if only we are near. For January, we have New Year. Febuary, we have Valentine's Day. March, his birthday, his name's day, my birthday. April, we have April's Fool. May, we have  Festa del Lavoro. June, Festa della Repubblica. July, San Paterniano. August, Ferragosto/Assunzione. September, San Gennaro. October, San Petronio. November, Ognissanti. December, last but not least, Xmas. And in Lunar Calendar, are a lot more festivals, but he will not be here to celebrate with me though. But soon, 2 years later, we are both free, and we will do all we ever wanted together. And, I promised to show him to my grandparent :)... I hope this is my answer to him. Though, I know when he see this, he will tell me, Oh you know, I saw your blog today, and it touches me so damn bad. Ha! And I bet, he is now smiling :P. But, Tesoro mio , just want to tell you, Ti Amo Tanto, see you on 29th November 2011 at the 0535 hours, Rome (FCO). <3

Take a Look At Me :)

Thank you for accepting the way I am. You don't mind that I am some times a bad tempered person. I am glad that you will accept me for the way I am now. I know, you might say that I am just the best person that you ever met. Thank you for having that impression on me. :) I am glad that you are the one I love :). I will promise you, I loved you yesterday, I love you now, I will always love you the way I loved you :). You are an angel, making all my dreams come true every night. I am happy you told me that I was in your dream some times... I believed I am lucky enough to know someone like you. I never thought someone like you existed. I hope I will meet you soon. So, when we are near, I hope you will take a look at me, and you will know how handsome you are. I have to admit that, when you use the light on your laptop, made you much handsomer than usual, I admired your smiles and laughs. They make you look great :). Just to tell you that you are my dream :) I know you will check my blog once a while :P So, TI AMO TANTO ~ :) <3

Sent Him a Letter

Was wondering what to give him as a present at first. Though he is 6028 miles away, about 12 hours and 31 minutes of flight. I don't know how to explain how much I have fall in love. I never know I could fall so bad again :) I am glad that he is always with me all the time when I needed him. I am glad that he can actually stand my mood swings. He is just so great, that I cannot describe how. I hope that he will see my letter soon. Inside the envolope there are 4 photos and one bookmark. I hope to melt him badly that he can ever imagine. Perhaps I just need to express a little bit more. Here is something that he can understand. Io ti amo amore mio, io ti amo con tutto il mio cuore vita mia ~ Beppe~ I don't know what to write about him at this moment. Or I should just say sei il migliore. And I will say sono dipendente dei tuoi baci~! Non posso vivere senza di te. Ti penso sempre! Tu sei l'unico per me! ~ Ti amo amore mio :) I miss his song, my favourite song. :) Though he always say his voice isn't nice. But to me his is better than Celine Dion when he sang. He melted me badly when he sang. I hope he will always sing it. From day to day, gradisco voi di più e più. Sei tutto per me :) Tu sei il sole del mio giorno!~ <3 Ti amo, mio bello :)

My Only Reason :)

Give you my HEART on a string :)

Was thinking what is my reason living in this cruel world. Do I have a purpose? Or I am just here for the sake of living here? Been hurt and recovered. Being love and hated. Cried and smile. Laugh and shout. Remembered and forget. What is the purpose? Is that all for life? This new year, meant a lot to me. I found my purpose. Wondering what it is? :) Now, I will tell you what, how, why and when. What make me think that I have a purpose, it is just him :) How and why do I know he is my purpose? Simple, he gives me hope all the time. He told me life is beautiful. And I don't think so at first, just because of my pathetic life. I don't believe there is such word called ''Forever'' as I think nothing will last for so long :) And life will end. After knowing him for months... He made me changed the idea of the word '' life'' and ''forever''. And when do I know he is my purpose, was a month ago, if I am not mistaken. I will wait for hours, just to see him online. Seeing him moving around, joking with me, sing my favourite song, tell me I am beautiful, arguing about little stuffs, making him green :D, seeing him melt and all that, just makes me feel like loving him more :) I felt so good with him. And I think that time, is when I know he is my reason for life... Of course, it is not just that :) I like his smile, looks, height, style and everything about him. But that's not why I love him.  The reason I love him, just because he is himself :) No one else, but himself :) Talking to him is just like talking to someone you have knew long time ago :) More than best friend, or I should just say, he is a part of my family :) I think without talking to him for a minutes it is like a year have wasted. Talking about him here, is just too little, I cannot finish typing about his plus points. But anyway, all I want to tell him is just... I love him :) Ti amo alla follia ~ Beppe <3

Is almost ready :)

This is how I feel :)

Just to tell you that your surprise is almost ready :) As you know, that it might be a bit hard to understand, my way of telling you something :) That surprise will be a bit hard to forget :P If I have show you :) Anyway, it will be soon ready :) And I hope you will love it :) Like how much I love you :) I will show you the best of me :) As I've said, you meant so much to me, and I even dream of you every night when I go to bed :P I know you ''love'' it when I hug my teddy bear :D But what can I hug? When you are not here? :) Unless, you want to come all the way here :) Or you send me one of your teddy :) Wait... Shall I ask '' Do you have a teddy?'' :) Anyway, my background of this blog, is all about how I feel about you :) You are more than what I thought of :) I never know, I love you so much, until... that day, that you said, '' I will take care of you'' :) I was totally leto :) I don't know what my life meant, when you doesn't exist :) You are better than everything :) As I have told you <3 maybe you don't know, but when everytime, you wasn't online, I felt sad, cause you are not here :) I just can't live without seeing your face :) <3 I will stay strong, just to fight for the time to see you for real :) Ti amo alla follia~ <3 And I believe my sunny day have come and my rainny day is OVER :P Just because Y-O-U exist~ :) <3 ~Beppe~

Know nothing, but Ti amo :)

Was sad because got cheated by friends :) But now, everything is fine :) I have someone better now :) I never want to open my heart for someone until I am older :) And now my heart is open :) For those who will really love me and take care of me :) I ever have someone who will come to me and say ''girl I will take care of you and love you for the rest of my life''. This is the second time, I found someone like this again :) Am I that lucky? Or it is just illusion? When I talk to you, it is like you have gave me strength.... I don't know how to describe the feeling, I have :) When I am with you :) Thank you for singing my favourite song to me, I did said that if someone who sing that to me, I will sure marry him :) Is that going to be you?  Oh, boy... you give me all that I ever wanted. I wish nothing more, but all I want is you, to grow old with  you.  I will tell you how much I love you, through photos :) instead of words :) I will give you the best of me :) And I will sing for you :) I will play the song ''Hero'' for  you :) Just to let you know, how much I love you :) ich liebe dich so sehr!~ :) My life was black and white when I don't know  you :) and now it is better than the rainbow it seems :) The rainbow will be so jealous, just because you exist :) Even the angels will be :) You mean so much to me :) I will give up on my place :) Just for seeing you in real life~ :) I can do nothing, but love you the best that I can :) I won't turn to someone else, just if you are always here :) You are amazing, just the way you are, boy :) <3 I love you so much, everyday :) The feeling is so strong :) Maybe you have swallow a magnet, that's why I cannot pull myself away from you :) You are so important, and all I want to do now, is to find words to describe you :) Ti amo :) <3

Living Without you :)

Freedom......!

I didn't sleep well, last night... maybe I am still having the memories of you. I heard a song that was suggested by my friend :) In another life.. well, that song was basically about can't love you now :) And that's so true~ :) I don't want to have the memories of you :) Even though I was sad about it when I know it is over :) But, I think it is waste of my time, being sad for you :) I should be happy because it happened, you were once with me. Just once and I should remember for life :) I am loved, by someone else :) I think it is time, that I open my heart for someone else :) And you should just leave my heart alone now :) You are no one inside my heart, and basically someone else did :) He is in, He is here :) Always and forever he should be :) You are still important, but just a someone.. a friend or less? :) I am in places, that I never been, or some places that I have been to :) I am seeing new people, new places, new buildings, old people, old places and old buildings. Gaining new things and old things :) Seeing how people and couples walking in and out in my life. Realized that you a just a chapter in my life :) You are not in my life now, and you are my past, after all I realized you are not everything about my life :) I was once happy with you, but now you have got your someone and so, get on with her then :) And not the least, me too, I am the same :) I am free, I am everything :p Thank you for letting me free :) Someday you'll miss me, like I have missed you :) someday you'll need me, just like I needed you :) And when someday you'll love me, I am sorry :) I won't love you :) I know... I know.. You NEVER did miss me :) you don't need me :) And so do I? =))

Hugs, Hugs and Hugs :)

I like hugs from other people, I never get one if I don't hug people. I love being hug by people. It feel really good. Hug gives people a warmth feeling. It is also something good :) I would like to hug anyone :) Just like people who wrote on a paper and says '' free hug''. Someday after my exams I will go to some shopping mall or just some where nearby, and give free hugs to other people. Well, maybe it is not that normal to hug people who is new to you. But, this is a good experience :) And I get hugs too :) Some day in my life, I will get hugs from someone that I love, I hope :) At that time, he will come forward and hug me. I will never take the first step :) Hope he can take note of it :) What could I say? :) I LOVE HUGS! :D <3

My Life? = RED

Asking me about my life? :) Well, I don't know what it holds. I don't know what it means :) What is life? :) Tell me! :) hmmm... if I have to answer that question,  I will say its you :) You have painted my life RED :) Why red? To answer this question, let me go on one by one :) Red, is a bright colour, in Chinese it means good things :) Like love, luck and all that :) Way before this, I thought my life is only a world with black and white :) Full of sadness :) I never know what is happiness :) Until, you exist :) I felt love and happiness :) Love is easy and happiness is easy too :) I don't really like my life, as it is a misery :) Not when I am talking to you :) You are such a sweet dream :) I am a nightmare :) You give me comfort :) And I love it :) I know I won't admit what you have commented about me :) I don't know, if we will meet :) But, if you keep the feelings for me. I will just stay with you :) If you really can do it for me :) I am yours... I am always here, if you need me :) And I know you are here too when I need you here :) I have your number, I can just call you and talk to you <3 I love your voice :) Even, I don't understand :) It is okay, if you don't remember my name :) Someday, I might just be forgotten by you. But, in fact, I will remember you thoughtout my life <3. You meant so much to me, in life :) I don't know why we are so far :( But, I will wait :)

I am not the best, boy

Thank you, boy :) for telling me that I'm the best :)  I know, I am not :) Not in a million years~ :) But I love it when you tell me, I am great :) I am your sweet dreams :) But, as usual, I told you that, I am not the best :) You said, I am amazing :) I am pretty. I am cute. I am sweet :) . Everything sweet you've got me :) I really don't know what I can say :) I cant find a word to describe you, dear :) You said, you can't live without my smile :) And, I got to admit~ :) I can't live without your smile too :) As my song said, your words bring such comfort to me when you've miles apart. This song is just for you :) 'He' is my past :) And hopefully, you are my future :) I love you boy :) I love you for giving me such things :) I love you... I don't know what things I can say.. other than I love you and Thank you. I like European, and you like Asian :) We are the perfect match :) Do you feel the same? :) I can't explain my feeling for you now :) If only we can meet, I am all yours~ :) I love you <3 If I can I will give you millions of hugs :) If you like it :) <3 ILY <3

Guardian Angel

Verse 1:
The day we separates
I just walk away
as if we will meet again
not believing in love
is to lie to myself
until you come back
I'll remain with my smile
look at the stars
praying to the sky
you'll be here
Chorus:
I want you to be my sky
whenever I look up
I'm not alone
you're my Guardian Angel
your words bring such comfort to me
even when you're thousand miles away
when I'm lonely
Verse 2:
I'm living happily
without you in this city
because I feel that
your wings spreads
and protected me away from fears
Now, I've recalled your voice
it is better than Summer and Spring
Chorus :
I want you to be my sky
whenever I look up
I'm not alone
you're my Guardian Angel
your words bring such comfort to me
even when you're thousand miles away
when I'm lonely
Verse 3:This warm afternoon
I've spent thinking about you
When the night comes
and I shut my eyes
I felt that you've kissed my cheek :D
Oh....
my Guardian Angel
I've been missing you so bad
Have you been missing me at all? :)
Chorus:I want you to be my sky
 whenever I look up
 I'm not alone
 you're my Guardian Angel
your words bring such comfort to me
 even you're thousand miles away
 when I'm lonely

I am his world :)

On a cold morning, when I woke up, I could hear birds singing. Such a nice feeling that I could only get once in a while. Was waiting if you can come online today, still I've talked to you yesterday. I was so happy when you said, my smile is the best thing in your world :) Am I your world? :) You said, God have given me the best thing, which is my smile :) Every time when I talk to you, all you tell me is my smile :) You ask me to smile just for you when you are sad. :) Is my smile that powerful to you? :) If yes, I would smile for my whole life, JUST FOR YOU :) The words that you said bring such comfort to me when we're miles apart........ You always says, I am pretty and beautiful. Am I really that? I don't think I am. Maybe it is my smile that make you have that idea... And you always says, I am the best thing in the world :) Maybe all life long, I can only carry this smile with me :) Nothing more than that. If  I can meet you in life, that would be great :) Cause some time in the day, I really think that you've painted some colours in my life :) Thank you, Dear..... <3

Finally

When I woke up today in the morning :) I was full with energy.. maybe the other day,  I was still upset about.. Him :) But now, it is finally alright! :) He have got a girlfriend, and he don't need me anymore in his life :) This chapter of my life should be close and never open it again :) And another new chapter of my life should be open :) When the sunrises today, my life is full with great feelings. About the people around me :) Especially, someone :) I was hesitating who will be the one? Have got 5 in the hand :D Still I never get in an relationship :D Moving on with my life :) I didn't know that moving on in life can be so free and fun :) A moment, when I was sitting down in my playground, in Cameron Highland, I sat on the swing, started to think.. What is happiness? :) Can anyone tell me that answer? :) After a little while, I took out my camera and start to snap some pictures :) it is a nice feeling :) One of the picture that I've took, it is a really Emo one :) Which is one of my favourite :) Life can be full with colours :) Like some pictures of mine :) I always thought of black and white would be my colours :) Without knowing, I discovered that my life is painted with all kinds of colours! :) Like the someone special have painted my life :) I never felt love until I know how to move on :) Moving on is cool ;) Single is total~ :D A cold afternoon, talking with my grandaunt. I told her whatever that I was bothered with. And all my questions of life, have finally got an answer :) Here, I could find warmth, that I ever wanted :) Even the weather is so cold here :) I never want to go back :) I don't even want to look back now ! ~ :) I was laughing all day long. Everything seems so easy, just for today :) And when the sunset, I was walking on the road with my grandaunt. The road to CheFoo's School, seems so nice, that I thought I was in Heaven :) The sky, seems so blue. The trees are so green :) The air is fresh :) CheFoo School, was a school only for whites, 20 years back :) When I walked along that road, I felt that I was in England, Old England :) If my life would be so easy, isn't that great? :)

The Messages

When my heart will stop raining? And be sunny again? :(

Today is a sunny day. A cold morning... I was thinking about you, as your birthday is coming. Then, I went out for breakfast. And on my way to destination, I was reading the messages that you sent me. I was about to cry. Cause all the messages meant so much to me. I never delete it, I kept it. So that it reminds me of you. You will remain in my heart. Even though, I know that you will not like me anymore. Some time I was wondering, if you have liked me? Until now, after the heart broken day.. I am so in love, like I always do. There's no right or wrong in the word love. Right love hurts and so do Wrong love? No one actually know what does the word ''Love'' means. Love is a feeling? No? Yes? I told the people whom I knew that I won't be in a relationship with anyone. Nor when I reached the age 18. I am torn by the feeling that called love. I talked to my cousin about her crush. The boy and her are not meant to be, and she is still in love. So what does love really mean? My cousin ever asked me why does a girl got hurt more than a boy? In my life, this is the worst time... That I am hurt. :( <//3 Heart broken is really painful. So painful until it is always remembered deep inside. I know life is always like that, Happiness and Sadness.. After happiness it is just sadness.. And so after sadness it is Happiness. Just like the dark sky begin to rain and the rain stops it will be a sunny day again. So when my sunny day is going to come to me? It have been raining real bad in my heart :( When is that day coming? When, When and When?

Is this over?

Today is Chinese New Year, I am kinda happy.. Now I am listening to ''Your Call'' by Secondhand Serenade. I don't understand when suddenly your picture just came inside my head. Why can't I get over you? Why can't this be over? When can I get over you? :( I am suffering here. I was born because to find someone I love? Or someone to hurt me? I don't understand why is that so hard for me to get over you. I have told myself, there's many more fishes in the sea. And I don't know why I can't get over you. I believe some boys are much better than you. Now, I have got no more feeling towards you. Now you don't even call me anymore :( I haven't talk to you for awhile. Have you been thinking of me lately? Or are you getting on with your life? With some new girls? Some time when I see your name I will be shocked. I don't know why, and i don't understand why :( But, now I think I have someone else in my mind. All the boys, American, Belgian, Italian, German, Frenchman, and all kind of whatever not. I hope some time in the year you will call me and say hi. Your birthday is coming soon, so tell me.....What should I do? Call you? Ignore you? I remember last year, you called me the LAST minutes. I was so happy until I can't sleep at night! But now, it seems that everything have changed, in such a way that, I can't get out from you :( You are in my heart 24-7. And so do I?